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Dreamed of suicide and even imagined of it


#1

This is really hard to post , not only me trying to help someone with a problem that I’ve dealt with before. I’ve had so much crap happened to me in the past to where I’ve now felt decent . I’ve had my moment but now this went toward a darker path. A darker path like 2018 all over again.
So last night i went to bed around a little later then 3 am because i was talking to someone to help them with their own problems and we were talking with messages till they had to go to bed. Then i of course tried to fall asleep . When i eventually fell asleep right within i had this dream where they caught me trying to commit suicide . and my parent who were in my dream (also the ones i have in real life) came to hug me but i told them no . and we were talking . we were staying in this facility where each parent had their own bedroom and i had this remote to contact these people who i can get a hold of just in case i needed them and the dream went to be as normal as one can be and then i woke up and the dream ended. Then awhile later it brought memories to when i tempted to hang myself in 2018. Then all the sudden i imagined hanging myself again and actually succeeding and imagining blood everywhere . But luckily i’m still here and alive. Is being alive what matters , right? Recently after a couple issues happening that didn’t have to deal with this I’ve been fine . just why now? why did i have to have this dream when someone like me has been fine . I’m just so clueless right now … I don’t want to die , i pretty much want to be alive. i don’t know why this happened.


#2

Dreams are weird, and they don’t have to represent how you’re doing now. You have grown far past the person you were in 2018, and I’m sorry that you’re being reminded of what you went through. You are so strong, and this is just a speed bump in the road, not a wall.
Keep going, you’re doing great and I’m proud of you.

Hang in there


#3

Thank you so much for sharing. It sounds incredible hard. I am so so sorry you had this dream and it felt so real. Sounds really painful. I hope you can find a reason why it came up or have some peace not having answers. I hope you can give yourself grace if more emotions come up because of it and have the tools to face them. Thanks again for sharing. Glad you are doing better and in a good place now.


#4

Hi Ashley. My name is Amiee & I’m from Liverpool. I think It’s amazing that you’ve put it out there how you feel. That’s a massive step to letting other humans know what’s going on in your head. Keeping things to yourself is no good at all. It will only build up & up till you think there is no way out. But there is. Please continue to speak out loud at how you feel. Believe me Ash you think your alone but your not my love. We will all stick together kiddo. Sending all my love to you my friend all the way from Liverpool. Xxxxxxx


#5

@Minnie123 thank you for reposting the thing is in this issue i dont feel alone im just confused on why it happened and why i was feeling this way. hope all is well with you !


#6

i legit feel like mentally i have no strength left do to stuff that i started earlier i dont know if this is the cause but i just want to stop amd just stare at the wall .


#7

Sometimes I think it could be really good to take a break. Having a dream like this can wear you out mentally and physically. It’s ok to rest to be extra gentle with yourself. You have been through a lot today and that’s okay. Hope you can be kind to yourself and meet yourself where you are at.


#8

Hi Ashley,

I think sometimes when talking to people and reading on the wall about people who are hurting and express suicidal thoughts that it can easily carry over to our dreams especially if we fall asleep right after a conversation about it.

Dreams are dreams and easily alter and change things we’ve seen and heard and create really weird or off scenerios. It doesn’t really have to mean anything.

Maybe when you are done talking to someone about something so difficult you should take a moment to meditate before bed. Or maybe watch something happy on YouTube or whatever. To help your mind transition to something a little lighter before sleep.

Love you friend. And I’m so glad that you are a part of this community. You are a light and positive force. I hope your dreams get better

  • Kitty

#9

thanks @DearKoyangi ill try that


#10

So , this is more of an update … the night after the issue I didn’t have the scariest nightmare . It felt more like a dream but still to be honest . When I tell someone “I’m relaxing before bed” on social media it just brings me back to where I dreamed about suicide and even want to hang myself . I just want to get it out of my system and feel better . I’m just truly scared and or timid rightnow . I just wish this feeling would go away . I guess I’m scared to have this feeling come back .
Anyways thanks for those who’ve responded .


#11

That’s rough Ashley. I’m sorry. You know that we love you.

A few months ago, I had a suicide dream too. It felt VERY real. I woke up crying my eyes out and the guilt I felt was real. I wrote a post about it. I’ll link it here if you’re interested :blush::heart:

You’re okay. You’re safe :heart:
You know you wouldn’t do it for real, that’s the important thing

Hold fast
Kayla


#12

hey there , thanks kayla and thanks for sharing your story to .
hold fast friend i love you