End of the Road

I can never tell if this is the end of the road, or the start of a new one. But I feel like I’ve hit a dead end. My emotions have been a roller coaster the last 3 months but especially these last couple of weeks! I’ve been attempting to remove this guy from my life, because he’s just not healthy! I’ve got him blocked everywhere except through text! And I’m guilty, I’ve texted him every single day (minus a few), just so he knows that I’m here and I still care. But last night when I messaged him… he responded. He said that he was receiving threats to him and his family. And it broke my heart. I spend over an hour on the phone with him last night, and we just talked, and I cried a lot.

I asked him a few days before when I texted him, I said do you still think about me, do you worry about me? I wanted his answer to be yes, obviously because I still care about him, well last night he finally gave me his answer and it was this! I still worry about you because you’re human, but I despise you as a person. It absolutely broke my heart, and I just cried. He continued to ask me every time he heard me cry, why are you crying, you did this to yourself… And I didn’t know how to respond… I know he’s right! I lied to him because I was scared of losing him, so I told him what he wanted to hear, and that’s why I lost him! There’s so many things I regret, but it happened, and all I can do is learn from it.

I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place right now… We talked last night, the talked seem to go okay… but I’m just not sure where my head is at. I don’t know what to do at this point! Everyone is going to tell me to block him, and go for good, but for now I don’t think that is the best option as he’s going through a lot, and he reaches out to me when he needs me, and I reach out to him when I need him! When I got in my accident, I called him, we talked, and he helped me through it, he made sure I was okay, and tried to comfort me.
But it’s the end of the road for us… he will never again be the person I need him to be for me… never again. So now I’m left here, not sure how to feel! But I need advice, I need comfort! How do you let someone go, how do I move on? Why did I get attached to him so much!? I mean he saved my life (from thousands of miles away), he stopped me from ending my life, that means a lot to me, it’s something I can’t forget or let go… What am I supposed to do… when the best part of me was always you (him)?

Sorry for going on another long rant, I just need to get my feelings out somewhere, and be constructive with my feelings and not destructive.

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Hey @Monkey,

I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. Could you please give us a little backstory of you and your friend? I’m a little confused as to why you have him blocked on social media but still text him every day - because of this, it’s a little hard to me to offer accurate advice (I’ll do my best, though). If you want him permanently out of your life, then I would recommend in keeping him blocked on all social media platforms and deleting his number. If you want him in your life, then I wouldn’t block him on anything (as opposed to being in the grey area that you’re in of having him blocked in some aspects but not others). Then, I would work on restoring the friendship. I hope this helps!


Im with @Eric on this one, im a little confused as well. You say you love him and that it hurts that yall aren’t together but yet you say you want him out of your life. To me it sounds like a typical statement of being in denial. I think you love him but you say you want him out of your life because you’re hurt that he doesn’t feel the same. That’s the same coping mechanism a lot of people use to deal with problems, but its not effective. I lied and cheated on my ex and then broke up with her. Yup… im an asshole I know. I’m still deeply in love with her and if I had the opportunity right now id marry her, but now my reality is I may never even kiss her again. It hurts but only time heals love, nothing else. its just one of those things that you have to wait to get over. He clearly still loves you too though. Take what he said with a grain of salt “I still worry about you because you’re human, but I despise you as a person.” If he truly felt that way then he wouldn’t still be calling you when he has a problem. I see a lot of hope in this scenario because the both of you still talk frequently. Don’t give up. If you love him then keep fighting and if you want him gone then delete his number today. Love you Monkey!

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Monkey… YOU DO NOT NEED HIM. As harsh as this sounds - he DOESN’T need you. He’s making you believe he does so he can carry on manipulating you and controlling you. He will have other people he can reach out too. So do you. You’re stronger than this. Make the move and block his number YOU CAN DO THIS. You have us. You don’t need him. We love you and we will get you through this.

Hold Fast

Alright sorry for the confusion, I’ve been trying to write this for about the last eight hours, and I just keep deleting it. So here’s some back story: I still love him So that was the original post I made when trying to figure out what to do with him! He’s got me blocked, in some places, and I unblocked him everywhere, just to figure out he still had me blocked! So like it’s on him now. But like I still love him I really do, he says that he doesn’t love me, and he never did. And that I don’t know what love is… maybe he’s right… maybe I don’t know what love is! But what I do know for sure is that I care about him a lot and I would do anything in the world for him
So I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out what’s best for me. He’s told me so many times I’m the only person he has so I’m afraid to let go! I know how much it sucks to be alone, and I don’t want him to be alone either! Sorry once again for the confusion of the first post

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Everyone knows what love is. Love is naturally ingrained in us as human beings. We may not always know whether we’re in love or not but everyone can identify love. Your post has love written all over it. Sounds to me like he still loves you too. He just wont say it because of what you did. Remain hopeful. If you love him and you want him then go for it. he’ll come around in due time. Be patient

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