I have been feeling like I needing to give up and I can barely find myself to buy stuff I need such as food and I have been barely eating correctly like certain days I would not eat all day not feeling hungry or anything I have been struggling to stand up and get out of my bed or couch and I have been feeling doubt and anxiety and I cannot find much to help me relax or have fun anymore it’s all just fake most of my emotions are fake and I don’t know what to do anymore and when I try to open up I feel so much guilt because I feel like I am wasting your time reading this and I feel like all I can do anymore is just help other people and if I don’t feel like I helped out enough I would be really, really depressed I can’t even watch, play or even sleep without thinking of suicide I get nightmares all the time because of all my mental problems I don’t know what all I have, I know I have depression, anxiety, bi-polar and I just want my life to be back to normal and I don’t know how to anymore
Hey!.. Alot going on,…huh?
Dealing with mental health issues isn’t easy at all. I know depression isn’t easy, I’ve been in a depression over 10 years and that’s WITH medication! lol I have to ask because it’s important…Are you in therapy and are you prescribed medication, if so are you taking them regularly? And I gotta ask if you do drugs or drink alcohol? I’m not asking those questions to be nosy, I ask because I know with my own personal experiences and to be able to suggest some things to you. 
yes a lot is going on right now, and i know that everyone elses depression is different, and the important questions the answers are no, no i am not in therapy due to lack of money no i am not prescribed with medication, no i am not under the influence of drugs nor alchohol and it’s alright i get why you ask those questions… kinda
First, welcome to Heart Support. I hope you receive all the love you need here. Not eating, lethargy (struggling to get up), doubt and anxiety are all related to depression. I think more is going on with you as well. Why do you feel that your emotions are fake? Why do you feel as though opening up to us should lead to guilt or feel that you’re wasting our time? Don’t feel obligated to answer those questions, but I hope you don’t mind if I share my thoughts.
With the unhappiness that you are dealing with, I don’t believe it’s possible for any of your emotions to be fake.
Being here and offering support is giving us a sense of purpose, so, rather than wasting our time, you are adding value to it. We value your presence here.
“Enough” is the amount of help you are able to give, even if the person needs more help than you can provide. That you cared enough to give what you can, will still mean a lot to the person who is in need of help.
Try calling “211,” as that number works in most communities, for the purpose of helping people get needed therapy, even if money is an issue.
well for me the fake emotions happens random like would feel like i am happy but it would feel fake even if i am with my friends… if that makes sense… sorry if that don’t make any sense
thank you for saying that “we value your presence here.” i just feel don’t know what to do if a friend goes away i probably would feel trapped or betrayed or somethin like that
alright thanks… i don’t know how to word it without trying to sound like i don’t want to fix myself so yeah…
i am kinda scared if i do call 211 or another type of hotline that they will take me away from my friends or the things that i actually like and just wont let me experience those things again or that they wont help me at all and i don’t want my family to worry about me that much because there is already a lot on their plate i don’t want to add more to that plate… i just don’t know how to feel about calling them
I asked those questions because I want to share with you the knowledge I’ve been given and learned over the years. I suffer from depression for over 10 years now, and in my adolescence and teenage years I was also very depressed and suicidal. I don’t know if that was due to the chemistry in my brain being unbalanced or because of the environment I grew up in? I just wish someone would have helped me then so that I wouldn’t have suffered for so long, whether that would have been therapy , medication or both?
I asked about drugs and alcohol because people that suffer from mental health issues often self medicate with drugs and alcohol, which makes their situation even worse because drugs and alcohol are depressants.
Even now I still get depressed but I’ve learned coping skills such as …when feeling sad or depressed, if nothing has happened to make me feel that way I remind myself that it’s the chemical unbalance in my brain that’s ‘acting up’!! Also remind myself that I wouldn’t feel this way otherwise.
I don’t know how old you are but our brain finishes developing at age 21 (some say 25) so if using drugs (even weed) we are affecting that process.
As far as therapy…sometimes we can find a social worker or some type of counseling for free by calling and asking at a community center, Dr’s office and even online (just be careful if online…don’t want some fraudster who thinks their a psychologist meanwhile they didn’t graduate high-school, you know)? You have to be willing to do the work to get better though and it isn’t easy and takes time. But I promise you that things do get better.
I found that between the ages of 15 to 25 were the hardest years of my life where I felt the most unloved, alone,and discouraged. But today I also understand that life is really hard at those ages because we’re searching for our identity, independence and so on. And I remember feeling as if there was no light at the end of the tunnel. A big difference for me was educating myself and learning about the stuff I mentioned above.
hm well thanks for helping me out and i have been suffering from them for a little longer than four years now i am 18 years old and about the drugs yeah i figured that out a little bit before becaause i got bored and look stuff up but the brain is done when you reach 21-25 sometimes 21-29 it’s rare to finish over the age of 25 and for me it took a while to figure out that i truly needed help… because i sometimes end up blacking oout while walking for a couple of minutes then wanting to cry because i am either on the edge of the side walk about to get hit by a car or just remembering something then wanting to do that and i kept telling myself that i don’t need therapy over and over again until someone made me realize that i needed it by saying some stuff… sorry i don’t really write long answers i am actually struggling to figure out how to word all of this
Well…I’m sorry that I do write long answers and don’t know how to communicate otherwise! lol Same when I talk.
You don’t have to write long answers, be who you are and let your answers be what they’re meant to be. It doesn’t come across as though your not sure what to write, if that’s any help.
My sister was diagnosed with bipolar, since her and her Dr found the right medication and right dose for ‘her’ things have been better over the past 8 years.
As far as our brain,…I 've never heard it finished developing at 29, I 've had discussions with multiple people in the mental health field, read up on it but you’re the first to mention 29. Not that it matters right here,right now…I just find it interesting to hear a different age.
The only way you can know if something will help…is if you try, regards to therapy. One thing that I can say is that it feels really good and took weight off my shoulders to have someone to talk to, someone that is educated to understand but more so,…someone to help me understand what the heck is going on inside of my brain and in my heart.
What you mentioned about the blackouts you have…you should really get that checked out.
If you feel comfortable telling me in private, where you live (province/state) I could help you find places to call to find someone to talk to. I’m offering but there’s no obligation, sometimes a little gesture like that can be encouraging in a situation we’re not sure or comfortable with. If there’s something else you could use encouraging or help with, you can ask me and I’ll do my best to help you.
thanks for everything i usually don’t like to vent but this year i found myself venting a lot more than last year by a big number and i cannot say for certain it helped me yet i get a little skeptical about telling people where i live but then again it’s a really easy city to find i am not going to say it here but i do have discord if you would like to talk on their i can i am usually on discord almost all the time because i have nothing better to do other than play games and watch or listen to music but yeah i should really check my black outs because it happened twice this year (not at the same day like a month or two apart) and sorry if i seem jumpy with the conversations that is how i tend to write or do stuff i jump to different subjects or lessons
Omg…I jump all over the place when I talk too…so that’s perfect, we’ll be able to understand each other. Lol
I have Discord but have never talked to someone before, so you’ll have to help me with that!, We could schedule a new friend appointment type of meeting. 
Just let me know whenever you want to, ok?
I know life isn’t easy and I know when we feel rough…it’s REALLY rough!! Try to look at things one day at a time, it could help not feeling so overwhelmed. We learn tools like that in therapy…coping skills. And TRUST ME when I say…we ALL need them. 
really, my teacher kinda got mad at me because i would jump from one assignment to another all the time but i get why she got mad… but if you would like to know my discord is boogie#5623 and that is alright if you don’t know much about discord i think it’s really easy to learn how to use discord and with the coping skills i don’t know what my coping skills are anymore because i get bored of the things i like to do… yeah i do know that we all need them… yeah it really is rough especially if you don’t know what to look for or you do and you don’t how to look for it
That’s why therapy is helpful because those people are educated in those things so they know what coping skills to teach us along with a lot of other things. And with the covid situation, therapy is being done on Zoom or on the phone, since you’re having a rough time getting around, that might sound more interesting.
I can relate to not wanting to do the things I use to enjoy doing…someday I find it hard to just take my dog out but I have to because he needs to go out .
I gotta go get ready…I gotta go OUT!!! FML!!! Lol
lol, yeah i know that they are doing it on zoom and on the phone but it’s kinda hard to go to therapy if you want people that is in your family to know that you are depressed and tried suicide multiple times (sorry if that offends you) yeah i tend to sit down and watch somethin not play games or hang out with people as much as i used to when i was in school but i try to go outside and when i do i am not out there that very long or if i am out there for a long time i just contemplate of my life choices and then i start to become really hard on myself because i am used to being hard on myself i truly am
Nope! That doesn’t offend me, it takes a lot to offend me.
So, your family doesn’t know at all what you’re going through and dealing with?
Therapy is about ourselves and what we want to make better within ourselves, so that doesn’t mean that you still can’t open up to your family. However, Therapy would help you understand your self better, and could help you open up to your family.
As far as you being hard on yourself…yup! I noticed that riiiiiight away. lol
You know…being alone with your thoughts isn’t the best thing for you. Especially as much time as you’re spending alone cus you just get deeper and deeper into your thoughts and you become harder and harder on yourself.
Do you like animals? Or is there something you’re passionate about?
Oh love animals especially cats and koalas and komodo dragon but yeah they don’t really know that I am this way like my mom know that I feel a bunch of emotions all at once but that’s it she never knew that I tried killing myself multiple times she don’t know that and I feel as if I go to therapy they are going to question why I am calling someone all the time and I have to watch someone during the weekdays so it’s really hard doing therapy
Oh and I am really hard on myself like really hard on myself I… Still blame myself for what another person did I always say it’s my fault because I could not talk to them
The reason I asked about animals was because I wondered if doing volunteer work at an animal shelter (if there’s one near you) or maybe even a pet store (if that was the only option).
Animals can be very therapeutic, if you’ve never heard of zoo therapy, look it up. Maybe that could bring you even if just a little motivation to get out, but more importantly…give you something PAWsitive in your life. See what I did there??? 
sitive. Get it??? lol
I’m tired!!! Don’t judge me. Lol
Can you clarify what you mean about calling someone all the time ? And do you mean you babysitting during the week?
Yeah basically I babysit during the weekdays and what I mean by calling someone all the time means I rarely call people and if they see me calling someone all the time they well get suspicious of me calling someone and ask a lot of questions I know this because they did that before and it’s ok I won’t judge I got it lol and I do want to be around animals a lot but I can’t right now because I am babysitting someone as of right now
It’s rumored that a lot of guys take till they are in their 40’s. 
It’s confidential, and they can take no action of that kind unless you convince them that you’re about to commit suicide, and even then they may not be able to identify you or your location.
Saying you feel suicidal isn’t the same thing as saying something like “I’m going to jump off a bridge on Tuesday.”
There was a time when I didn’t realize how quickly my feelings were deteriorating, and I did come very close to suicide. Fortunately, I found some help. Ask yourself, what would be on your family’s plate if you hurt yourself or did something even more drastic? Considering what’s at stake, you really should find someone to talk to, or get connected with a resource through 211. Either that, or besides here, there are other forums and online communities that want to help.
Maybe you’re concerned that seeking help might make things worse, but I think the odds of that are far less than just allowing yourself to continue suffering.
Some friends stay only for a time, then drift away. It doesn’t mean they’re rejecting you. It’s more likely that their lives are taking them in different directions. Sometimes friends disappoint, and we realize the friendship wasn’t that strong, but other times, working through those issues makes the friendship stronger.
Here, even if the interaction is messed up, you can trust that we have your best interest in mind. If you don’t want to talk to anyone else, stick around here, so you won’t feel alone.
Idk anything about rumor so I don’t know
I know that it’s different for thinking and about to I have almost done it in the past when I was about to I stopped and thought about someone I care about in a sibling way and I just could not leave until I say my final goodbye in person
I always think of different scenarios all the time there is a scenario for a lot of things
This friend said that she won’t leave me I was just want to talk to her again but I don’t think she is here with me anymore and I am starting to feel alone more and more each day