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Belongs to: https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/42840
@heartsupportwall I have a problem trusting myself to meet new people because I’ve let in too many bad.
It is completely understandable to have a hard time to let people in after being hurt already. In the past, you gave your trust to people who had the privilege of being close to you as a result - and that’s how it should have been honored by them: a privilege. No matter what happened with them - you couldn’t know and you were never responsible of the actions/choices they made in the connection you had at the time. It’s hard because it feels like something that should be a gift - trust, relationships - becomes a punishment turned against yourself, some kind of cursed gift that you want to use and explore, but at the same time there’s also the memory of how people behaved in your life before, of how hurtful it was. It’s an unwanted legacy that you are forced to compose with - a learning process that is, in itself, so very conflicting. Right there with you on this struggle bus, friend. It’s a heck of a journey. I hope that, with time, you will find your people, your tribe, the ones who will understand what you’ve been through, and who will be okay with boundaries that need to be flexible most of the time. There is something truly special when people care for you and love you, but also know you enough to not force a connection either. If you have your own temporality when it comes to building trust in your relationships, that is absolutely okay. Each time you try to open a door is worth it, just like each time you need to step back for a bit. You are paving your way in the midst of what feels incredibly complex. And even just being aware of it, of what you want, of how it conflicts with how you feel - is a major sign of growth and healing, in light of your past relationships. I believe in you. 
Hallo and thank you for opening up this part of you that holds vulnerability. Allowing people into our lives can be a very terrifying concept when we have been used to being hurt. It can feel like it’s easier and safer to withdraw and hold up to protect ourselves.
I also think at times this can feel a bit lonely.
I believe it’s okay to take small cautious steps when beginning to develop trust when it’s been hard to come by. I know there have been cruel people out there, but I do believe there will be people who will show you the kindness and love you deserve
@heartsupportwall3 wow this hit right at home. So much truth though. 