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Helpless Please Help

So I recently got hacked,this is my second discord account and I’m feeling terrible.I’m betrayed by those close to me and mentally deranged.Could someone talk to me?Nightmares,PTSD,abusive exes. I’ve lost most of my friends and I can’t do anything about it because of some hacker.Can’t close my eyes without some horrors.

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Vader, Thanks for reaching out! Sounds like you’ve got a lot going on right now, things coming from all directions. One of the very basic things I have found to help, is to turn off the ‘noise’ in my mind. Constantly thinking of all the things that are causing me pain, only brings on more pain.
I’ve focused, almost to the exclusion of having a life, on my many, many, negative past experiences. With my PTSD, it helps me to keep focused on what I’m thinking, to be aware of what my mind is telling me. Our whole world is made up of our thoughts, and we can control our thoughts. I was abused as a child, and to survive, I use to think of being some place else. It’s called disassociation, as I grew older, when I was stressed, I disassociated, I pretended to be somewhere else, so I essentially learned as a child how to avoid dealing with my life. As a kid, it worked to keep me sane, as an adult, it kept me in bad relationships, because I could disassociate, and avoid facing the reality of the abuse. I avoided my life.
Abuse causes trauma, and learning to deal with the trauma is part of healing from the trauma. Even extended trauma. Know that inside of you, there is one who is the voice that says “I need help”, that’s the voice here today, and I hope that voice is encouraged inside of you. Give yourself a break, be as kind to you, as you would be to your best friend. I wish you well.

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Hey @Vader,

Thank you so much for being here. I can only imagine the stress you’re dealing with right now and I hope, with all my heart, that you’ll manage to get some rest in times to come. It sounds that life has been really tough for you lately - between this recent hack, past abuses, and dealing with the heaviness that goes with PTSD. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all of this at the same time. If you need to talk a little more about those nightmares and those “horrors” you can’t help but seeing lately, please know that this is a safe place to talk about it. No judgment, no pressure. Only a genuine concern for your safety and a huge amount of care for you. Sometimes we need to get things off our chest, and that’s okay. You are not alone right now. And you don’t have to handle all of this only by yourself.

Is there anyone in your life who knows what’s going on as well? Someone you would trust enough to talk to? (a friend, family member, or even a counselor).

I’m sending hugs your way. :hrtlegolove:

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Absolutely. What would you like to start with? I’d like to let you lead.

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My dad forces me to be something that I’m not [straight,tough guy]and makes me out to be a bad guy, he helped me lose most of my friends.I’m stuck with nightmares and hallucinations

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How long has this been going on? Does he tell you why he does this?

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my entire life [15 nearly 16 years] “you deserve this”

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I am so so sorry. You don’t deserve that. At all. And no child should ever hear something like that from someone who is supposed to love and protect them. How has he made you lose your friends?

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Making the wi-fi so only my school email works my others get like blocked.He tells my friends all these lies insults

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Are you only doing virtual school right now?

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nope in person for the time being

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Have any of your friends approached you about what your dad says?

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nope everyone tells me “Your edgy, die” etc

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Tell me about the kind of friend groups you’ve run in. What kind of people do you look for?

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I look for outsiders, people with little friends,smart, yet edgy

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Is it possible to find other people to befriend on a school level for now? So that you have peers in some way?

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nope, I’m weird and different.

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your welcome,just my therapist but I’m kinda hesitant to trust people

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thanks, wanna talk about it?

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yes,
I would like that, because what I say here, really reinforces what I need to hear myself.

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