I did it. I made it a day (Failed)

Well, just know that when people put us down or make us feel bad about ourselves, it’s not usually about us. It’s about their own self worth and view of the world.

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I believe that I am worthless though. I have tried to fight against it but here I am having failed to stay clean because of how worthless I feel. Sorry I just have keep this inside so long that when I start talking about it comes out a lot

It’s awesome to feel safe enough here that you can pour out everything isn’t it?

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It does but do I deserve it? Probably I do but I’m not in a good enough mindset to believe it. Why do I fight against myself. Ugh

You’re listening to your inner critic. It’s lying to you.

I can easily say that to you, but do I even believe it? No, not all the time. It’s a constant struggle between my negative thoughts about myself and trying to believe that they aren’t true. Some of us (people with BPD) are more sensitive to emotions and we feel 100 times more than others.

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It really is a struggle and I hate it. I just want to be able accept that I’m not worthless and not a waste of time or space but I can’t.

The important thing right now is that you’re aware now that what you’ve believed about yourself all this time may not be true. It isn’t, I can guarantee it.

Those feelings are going to be around and surface. It’s just something you have to remind yourself of when they do. You’re not worthless. You are worthy 100% :heart:

When those feelings surface for me, I try to distract myself and ride it out. I try.

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I’ll try to keep that in mind. I’ll try to keep fighting but who knows how it’ll go. Thank you listening to me rant about this

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I think you’re on the right path to healing, Paladin.

And by the way, this is helping me too. :heart:

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