Back to heartsupport

I don't know how to help

This is going to seem out of context to people, so if you’re wondering who K is read the first part of my last post here. So I was talking K today and I found something that really makes things difficult on both of us. I want to listen to her and all of her problems to try to help. The way I see it is that if I’m not willing to be there through everything I don’t deserve to be there for anything. She wants the opposite, though. She wants to protect me from herself. She doesn’t want to hurt me, which is both the sweetest feeling and very frustrating. This makes it hard on me since I know I’m the only person she goes to for those matters and I can’t help but to assume the worst if she doesn’t tell me what’s going on. The last thing I want is to lose her but no matter what I do I feel bad about it. If I let her keep things to herself I feel like a bad person for not caring but if I try to get something out of her I feel like a bad person for going too far. I feel like I was manipulative even though I know I was being completely honest in how I felt. I don’t know the right way to go about this. I’ve gotten her to agree to contact her counselor and I intend to see that through, but is that beyond what I should be doing? Am I helping her? Am I even doing anything? Am I making things worse? Is it even my place to intervene? Again, I’m the only person she goes to for anything major. But in order for her to actually ask I have to pry a bit. I don’t want to leave her alone but I feel so bad for prying into something that’s not even my business. If there’s a proper way to help or if I’m overreacting please let me know.

1 Like

I think that as her friend you have every right to help her especially when it comes to being counseled. I can’t say that I know exactly where you are coming from but I know a little bit. I think also that she wants your help or she wouldn’t tell you anything. Having to pry isn’t easy but it might make a world of difference to her in the long run. Sometimes just being there is the best thing you can do. Even if you feel like you aren’t doing anything at all.

1 Like

@MA10 you are showing K that you care and I think that it so important when trying to help someone. Try to give her space while at the same time letting her know you want to be there for her.
Also, don’t forget to take care of yourself through this. You need to make sure that you are happy as well.