I feel as though I am seeking attention by making another post only three or so days after my last one (Retriggered P.O.C.D. & Z.O.C.D: Part II), but there were other guilt-inducing, P.O.C.D. and Z.O.C.D.-triggering mistakes I made which did not come to mind whilst making said post that I feel the need to talk about now:
One was when I was a young teenager and I sent a picture of my private parts as a joke to someone I thought was my age or very near it whom I had been talking to on my PS3 and via Kik.
Another one was when I made a sexual joke to an underclassman when I was a sophomore or a junior that pertained to the characters in Stranger Things’s first season.
The final one, which I made recently at the age of twenty-one, was seeking reassurance that I was not a zoophile for being into anthropromorphic characters by looking up pornography of one that maintains animal-like proportions but acts, thinks, and speaks like a human adult to other humans.
Although I have since recognized that each of these mistakes is atrocious, I feel worse about them every day because I did not face any or enough consequences for them, as well as since I wonder if there is any other detail or interaction like them that I have forgotten about, making it so that I question if I repeated horrible mistakes or made worse ones.
I am sorry if this post feels rushed, insincere, and repetitive, but I wanted to get this all off of my chest here as soon as possible in the hopes that someone could help me sort through and deal with it since I could not live with myself otherwise, as I feel like a predator/groomer who deserves to be locked up.