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Belongs to: https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/35548
I lost my ex of 5 years a week before thanksgiving 4 years ago. I helped raise her daughter I still see and going to buy presents for her and wanting to buy for her mom is always hard for me
It must be so hard to be in this position of being in contact with someone you care for, but also that it implies to connect with your ex and potentially revive a wound that isn’t fully healed yet. To preserve relationships that matter to you, but to also keep adjusting to the way things have been changing for 4 years now. Grief is such a long rollercoaster at times, full of unexpected mines that trigger all kinds of emotions. This time of the year is certainly one that brings a lot of them. I’m sorry, friend. I hope with all my heart that you manage to find peace through it all, and embrace all the joy that expressing love and care to her daughter keep bringing into your life. There is without a doubt a precious bond there that unites you and is stronger than what separated you and your ex. It is truly beautiful and inspiring to hear about how you’ve been an positive influence and impact in the life of her daughter, and how you keep being involved and show that you care. That alone is a gift, and I am truly grateful for your bravery there, for not letting pain get in the way of expressing love. That is truly special, and hopefully a fuel that helps you navigate the emotions that this situation creates. Thank you for caring the way you do. Please make sure to take care of your heart too, as much as possible, and to take care of yourself during this season. You matter. <3
@dlawson0918 
hugs=
From: ManekiNeko
we thought we would check in and see how you’re going. Loss is hard, and those memories of holidays and time spent together can be so very hard as well. I’m sure that her daughter appreciates having someone so constant around in her life. As micro said so beautifully, someone who is a positive impact in her life! I hope this year bring some peace and comfort for you. I hope it brings some joy and loving memories from friends and family. While wounds take their time to heal, I’m hoping that the little things that bring that joy into your heart make it easier.
Losing a loved one around the holidays is very difficult. My heart goes out to you.
I find it great that you two are still in contact and I’m sure the daughter really appreciates it. It may be painful at times because she reminds you of your loss, but you two might also give strength to each other because of the memories you share. It is obvious how much you care. 
@heartsupport thank you. I figured best thing I can do for her and for me is to just keep pushing and moving forward. Enjoy and make great memories together. One day those could be gone and it’s something I know we both will never want. To fun times and great memories