wooo throws confetti
so proud of you! 
2 Likes
Thinking of you Paladin, x
2 Likes
Hey how did it go with your parents?
I hope they took it well and are being supportive
2 Likes
I told them but they had a lot to do so they said we would talk later.
1 Like
Are you ok with that?
1 Like
No. I want it to be over with. They still haven’t talked to me about it. This delay is causing me to be nervous and question if I should have even told them. I just want the conversation to happen and then be done with it unless I bring it up. I wish that’s how it worked with me being trans as well because they’ll ask at the most random times when I’m not ready to talk about that thing. Hell they even did that with me coming out. I wasn’t ready and they forced me to come out as Pansexaul and then later forced me to come out as trans. And when I’m ready to have the conversations they can’t. I wish they would do it on my time frame and not theirs. They care but it feels like they don’t when I say something and they don’t have the time ever and then force me to do things when I’m not ready. I wasn’t ready and now I am and we don’t talk about it. Ugh. I wish things would just work out for once
4 Likes
Don’t allow this to set you back ok? When everyone is home and you know they aren’t busy ask to talk again. It’s ok to approach them with this.
I remember when I was self harming, people would see it and look away. No one would ever talk about it because they view it as attention seeking. This is prob what your parents are thinking too, it’s just been drilled into our heads to not pay attention.
So, respectfully tell them that this is very, very important and you NEED to talk.
You can do this 
2 Likes
I’ll try but it hurts that this has happened a lot. One time I literally self harmed in front of them. It was me banging my head against a wall so they knew it was me hurting myself and not something else and when I was trying to talk about it all that they said was I shouldn’t have hit my head. Every time that I seem to bring it up it doesn’t amount anything but then they bring it up and I’m not ready. I just wished what I said mattered. Why bother when this all that happens
2 Likes
Yeah, that’s pretty shitty. I just can’t connect with that kind of parenting… if you can even call it that.
I just feel it’s important that you make them aware that you need help.
1 Like
To be fair it was awhile ago, I think I was 12 at the time, and now they have gotten me help by sending me to a ward when I asked for it. But there have been a lot of shitty moments and I don’t know when it’s crossed the line. I keep giving them chances and so far they haven’t done anything to bad.
1 Like
I know it’s not how you want to do it and they should listen to you but could you text them what you want to say so it’s out there and they know? Alternatively, are you close with any of your friends parents?
1 Like
I’ve tried text in the past and I was never able to send a single one. Probably because I no there is no backing out of it when I send it and no I’m not and if I was I wouldn’t tell them.
1 Like
Hey @Paladine,
You have grown so much and your perseverance is incredibly inspiring. Well done for the 3 days clean! You are amazing.
As for your parents, it really sucks that things didn’t go - yet - as you wanted. But don’t let that defeat you, okay? Even if they happened to suggest you talk at a time you don’t want to, you are still in control of the words you choose, of what you say, of what you want to express, even if it’s more challenging. Maybe anticipating a little bit of what they could say or ask would help? Eventually, to prepare somehow what you’d like to say in case they’d say this or that. You have been in this situation before and you know them, so you may already have a good knowledge regarding what they could say.
In any case: you are doing the right thing. You’ll be okay. A conversation like this puts you in the position of somehow teaching things to the people you talk to. You share things, you help them learn and understand, you hold the keys to help them help you - not the opposite. That’s your superpower.
2 Likes
It’s hard not to give up when this happens every time. I just want them to listen to me but it seems they don’t care. Which is cause me to stop caring because what’s the point in caring if it’s just going to be ignored.
2 Likes
Well, because it’s about you first and foremost. And your worth is not defined by others care or behavior. Caring about yourself, your well-being and your safety can’t be conditioned by others behavior and their ability to listen to you. Some people will be the right ones. Others won’t. But through it all, you are worth to keep finding the right places and the right people to support you.
Based on what you’ve shared, it seems that your parents would need to learn more and understand what you are going through. I know it’s challenging and frustrating to have to deal with this on the top of your own struggles though.
Have you ever looked at the workbook ReWrite provided by HS? This might be an interesting tool to help you commincate with your parents, if they’d be willing to give it a try with you. There is a part in the book dedicated to loved ones/close family members who want to help. This could be a tool to use as a way to invite them to reflect on themselves a little, and educate themselves a little more regarding how they can actually support you the best.
1 Like
I have looked at it and wanted to buy it but I’m broke. I might be able to convince my parents to get it. I’m willing to ask them about it but I don’t have hope anymore.
2 Likes
Your parents 100% care and love you, but I think they just don’t get what you are going thru and have been led by stigma and their own ignorance. They don’t know how to handle it and perhaps catching them off guard was too much for them. Perhaps they needed to regroup and talk about it first before they talk to you.
It could be as simple as that.
Be strong and take what @Micro said about having what you want to say in your head and ready, so they don’t catch you off guard when they are ready to talk.
2 Likes
Alright. Well, there is a solution for everything. Let’s see it step by step. Let us know how it goes with your parents, whenever you’d like to give it a try. 
1 Like
I never said I was four days clean so there it is. yay
7 Likes
Well done, I’m proud of you! How are you feeling now?
2 Likes