I wanna just die already

Im so stressed about money rn its insane. Now that I have a job its like my parents expect me to be rich asf… IM BEING PAID 12.75 MINIMUM WAGE!! and they are telling me if I want my phone whenever I want I have to pay my dad 250$ and as a 17 year old, I need my phone especially to manage my money because that’s all I care about rn idgaf about stupid ass snap streaks and Instagram posts, idgaf anymore I just need a way on communication in case of emergencies especially since i have a job and i need to manage my money through my app. Thats all i need. But if i buy my phone I have to pay for the service. I also don’t even have my car or license rn because my parents took them and are now telling me i might not get back the car I’ve been wanting for years. so i might have to pay for a whole new fucking car cuz my mom keeps being like ohh I’m gonna take it… that car was only 8000 and that’s cheap for a car I’m never gonna find a deal like that ever again. Ontop of that, i have to pay for the hole in my wall from when my dad beat me 3 years ago. and a while ago i smashed my head up against my door and now there’s a crack all the way down it and it doesn’t shut right so now i have to pay for a new fucking door… 250 for my phone + 45 per month + 50 or less for the wall + several 100s for a new door = MORE THAN I CAN AFFORD. i save 90% and spend the remaining 10%. I just set it up to where i save 75% and i spend 15% and the remaining 10% goes in checking so on average i get paid 340$ every 2 weeks and 15% of that is 51$ so every month ill be making 102$ so its gonna take 2.5 months to save up for just my phone if i don’t spend any of it… My dads always telling me to buy him shit too so wtaf… I’m just so stressed rn my hairs falling out and I’ve got more grey hairs now than i did. I got my first grey hair when i was 9 but idk if that has to do with stress or just genes but idc anyways…i look like shit my weight is bothering me i feel like i look huge. like not huge like fat but huge like just a big person. I feel like I’m unattractive. I just don’t understand why my parents expect so much from me all of a sudden and i don’t understand why they say they love me yet leave me on the side of the road when they get mad at me for stupid reasons. Theres no way they love me, they just see me as some bitch living in their house. I feel worthless like there’s no point in living when i have all these struggles. Im trying so hard to be positive but the only thing i have going for me in life is my bf cuz i want to have a future with him which is whats making me mad in this situation. I want to die so bad but every attempt i make never worked i never took enough pills so now i know how many i need to take to commit suicide, but i cant do it because of my bf he would neer forgive me. not in a sense of hatred but yk. he would miss me. school is fucking me over too rn. i just cant stand living rn i want to crawl up in a hole and rot.


Hi Broken,

I understand how you feel. My parents were the same way when I would get money (usually by selling artwork). It really sucks. It does add unwarranted stress and Im sorry you are feeling that so deeply right now.

This is actually a good wage, at my previous job, before switching careers, I was only making 10.75 after taking my experience into account. Minimum wage in my area is 7.50.

Any time bills and things are introduced, it helps to write down a budget to help you keep track of things. It takes away some of the stress because you will already know where your money is going.

This is legit and to be honest Im surprised your parents would take that from you. I understand they are trying to teach responsibility, but it sounds like they just threw you into the deep end.

Did they offer any explanation for this? Its one thing to take the car, but your drivers license? That makes no sense.

Heres some good news - $8000 is actually pretty expensive for a used car. I highly advise against buying a new car. Ive bought 3 cars of varying price ranges from car lots and they have all lasted for quite a while. If you go to a used car lot you can expect to spend a few thousand and up, most will finance. If you dont have credit you would need a down payment or a co-signer. Also, bikes are life savers. I rode a bike to and from work for a year working 2 jobs in order to buy my first car. Dont be afraid to think outside the box :). You can get a decent bike for $100, and its a justifiable purchase.

Also this; doors are not several hundred dollars unless theyre really ornate, fancy doors. Generally entrances, not bedrooms.

It looks like your only repeating expenses would be your phone and eventually a car payment, and you certainly make enough to do both. I would ask your parents to allow you to pay for your phone in installments so that you can start savings money for your first car. This is not unreasonable in my opinion.

You will be fine, friend. It sounds like a lot of your anxiety may come from unrealistic fears of the cost of things. Which is to be expected since youve never had to be responsible for money and bills before, or not for long. You will learn as you go. It will all work out, Im sure of it. Feel free to reach out to me for budgeting help. I take care of budget and finances in my household.


From: ManekiNeko

I’m not sure how much advice I can give when it comes to money, I’d probably be more helpful if it were local to me because I could direct you to the right people! I’m really sorry that he’s asking for so much money. Maybe he really needs to handle his finances with more care so he doesn’t have to ask you all the time.

it sounds like having a phone is imperative to your work life and to having your finances. I know i do a lot of online things as well.

my heart goes out to you broken glass, you’ve been through so much from such a young age and it seems to be a constant battle for you. My hope for you is that if you reach out to any resources either provided or have a chat with even your dr they might be also able to provide you with resources and have some helpful input.
I just want you to know that you are deeply cared for


From: Mamadien

Brokenglass, first I just want to tell you that I hear you and I can’t imagine your frustration right now. I want you to know that I’m impressed that you are going to school and holding down a job - that is a lot of responsibility. Is there someone at school, a counselor or trusted teacher you could talk to about what is going on at home? I’m not sure how else you can get the support you need to handle what you are facing. What I do know is that you deserve to have the opportunity to be successful, to be heard, to be happy and to have respect. Please continue to stay here at heart support. We hear you. You matter my friend.


From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi again friend, money worries are one of the worst concerns you can have and its also probably one of the most common so many people will be able to relate to you and understand you fear and frustrations. It sounds like you are really in tune with what you have and spend however have you thought of maybe trying to get some less expensive things to start with and then upgrading later in life when you have more coming in? I am so sorry also that you are being held responsible for the damage caused by others. You are clearly very stressed and down and I would encourage you to reach out to someone, maybe your gp to help with the anxiety. Your life is valuable and you deserve to be happy, I hope that you will get there. Much Love Lisa. x


From: twixremix

hi brokenglass,

you are shouldering so much and i’m so sorry all this stress is piling up for you. with finances, school stress, family struggles, health concerns, and high expectations, i hear you and i understand. i’m thankful you have your boyfriend by your side to stay strong. hold on to that hope of a better future ahead. you have so much to give and get from this world and you’re just getting started. i can tell you have a strong sense of responsibility and hopes for a better tomorrow. have that guide you. i’d also suggest speaking openly to your parents about both the financial stress they put on you and to also request for some help finding a primary care doctor or therapist to speak to about your stress, depression, and suicidal thoughts. there are people out there with answers to the weight on your shoulders so please keep reaching out - you deserve the help, love, and support. hope to hear from you again soon.




Hi Friend, I remember when I got my first job and needed to save for things I wanted. It’s overwhelming and kind of scary because…how are you going to do it? When you’ve never had to be responsible for your own finances, it can be hard at first. Once you see how things work, like how much money you’re bringing in and how much things really cost, you might find it’s not that hard. Managing your life is just part of becoming an adult and something most of us have to do. I believe in you ~Mystrose


From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello again, brokenglass :hrtlegolove: I’m sorry that your parents are treating you as if you can suddenly pay for everything now that you have a job. That is definitely not a good way to encourage independence or savings. Has you dad made you pay for things a lot in the past? Maybe a way you can stand up for how unfair it is that he expects you to buy him things is by writing up a little bill and giving it to him and saying that as repayment he can simply give you the things that were yours originally like your phone and car. Also is the car in your name or your parents’ names? If it’s in your name then it is legally your car.
I don’t know your home life much so idk if these tactics will work for you but they were my initial thoughts.

Mostly I want to tell you how proud I am of you for what you have managed to accomplish. Having a job while still in school is an amazing thing and I think it is incredibly mature and responsible of you to not only have this job but to be caring so much about saving the money you make from it. I just want to make sure you also remember that taxes are taken from your paycheck as well in case you haven’t factored that into your math yet :slight_smile:

Good luck with everything and I look forward to reading more from you soon :hrtlegolove:



Hi again, hun!

I understand your stress about your money situation. I’m glad to hear that you’ve already started saving some! I just started doing that myself. Finances are definitely stressful!

I know I mentioned earlier about how unhealthy your living situation is. I will once again offer in the idea of talking to a professional in your post here: I cant get it out of my head (TW sexual abuse/SH) - #7 by lunxaire

Have you confided any of this to your partner at all? Or is there a family member you can confide in? I worry for your situation, and your safety.

With school stressing you out, it is also something you can go to a counselor about. If you need some help in some subjects, websites like https://www.khanacademy.org/ can help you with understanding difficult subjects.

I think Lisa’s point in buying some inexpensive things to start and upgrade later is a very smart idea.

I am so sorry to hear how badly you’re suffering from this. I’m hoping we can help ease some of these struggles.

Please keep us updated and let us know if you have any suggestions on how we can further support you.


Hi there @brokenglass,

Thank you for sharing with us. This sounds incredibly stressful and I’m impressed with your resilience throughout this situation.

For a quick money-saving tip, if you do it yourself, you may be able to fix the wall pretty cheaply depending on the extent of the damage. If you already own spackle and paint, it won’t be too expensive or difficult to fix (and spackle isn’t that expensive). It gets harder and a tad pricier if you need to install new drywall (for larger damage), but it should still be doable relatively cheaply.

With that said, I’d try to take these monetary challenges one at a time so they don’t become too overwhelming. Prioritize and fix one thing at a time, if possible. After all, this is overwhelming stuff!

I have faith in you and am glad that you’re sharing with us.

<3 Tuna


My car is a suzuki SX4 though so 8000 is pretty good for a car that rare

Since I cannot actually message you; I do want to note something positive for you.

You are doing so fantastic being there for others. I also have ADHD, depression (two already confirmed depressive disorders), and chronic anxiety. It’s hard to give out yourself so much, especially when you’re going through so much yourself. You’re amazing and so strong to be able to give to so many others. I want you to know we see it, and applaud you for being such a fantastic member for this community.

Thank you @brokenglass ,

for everything. <3

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