I think I’m gonna kill myself Ive got nothing everything that want just falls to pieces before my eyes the few things that I thought could change and help me haven’t all I ever been was just a fuck up a nothing a piece of shit
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Please don’t. It’s hard to know what to say without any context but if you deep down really want to live and are just having a really hard time handling how you are feeling, please reach out to anyone. They will be there for you. I’m sure you have family/friends that wouldn’t want to be without you.
hahaha thats funny I’m not so important
Just give it a try? Tell them you need a hug and need to talk.
no one to do that with right now
Hey, I’m so sorry you feel this way but I’m glad you posted here, it was really brave of you!
What is it you’re wanting that you feel is falling apart?
Sometimes things don’t work out because it isn’t the right path for us.
there is no such as a right path
Jax
I know the feelings of wanting to give up. Of REALLY wanting to give up and I thought that it would just end all my suffering and it would be my way of telling the world to fuck off. I saw no future, I saw me suffering for the rest of my life and I wanted to hurt my father who I had volatile relationship with for most of my life.
I planned everything out and wrote my “fuck off world” letter.
I was in the mental ward of the hospital for 17 days after my attempt. I felt like such a failure, I couldn’t do anything right, not even off myself. WTF was wrong with me!
I saw no hope, I saw no meaning, I saw no love… it was the most darkest time of my life. My husband also gave up on me and that was devastating.
My last attempt is what woke me up.
When I got home after being released from the hospital, I noticed something.
My son had thrown away the tool I used.
This one loving act changed my world and I realized I needed to be here for him. This was his way of telling me that he loved me and didn’t want me to go.
We don’t want you to go, Jax.
Things did get better but it wasn’t easy and it wasn’t right away, but it got better.
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yeah but I dont have a kid or anybody like that
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you will someday tho
seems highly unlikely
I know that right now, you’re having a lot of fucked up shit going thru your head.
I will tell you thru my own experience and from talking to other people about this (group therapy) that those voices in your head are straight up lying to you.
Trust me.
Is there anyone in your life you trust?
how can me being unattractive and unconfident be a lie
It doesn’t matter how you look because your future person will love you for who you are not what you look like and confidence is something you can improve on and master if you work on it.
So, yeah those negative thoughts ARE lies.
but I’m already 28 years old and I’m still single
So? My son is 30 and still single.
Why put expectations on things? When it’s time for you to have someone in your life, it will happen.
because everyone looks at like I’m a freak when I tell them how old I am and that I’m single
Do people actually come up to you and tell you you’re a freak? Or is that how you THINK they feel?
I can tell by the strange look they give me when I tell them
This is only your interpretation and I will tell you that it’s not true. Do you know how many people older than you do not have a partner?