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Love this dude! Dealing with the same issues
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Yeah - the feeling of being stuck, it gets easy to fantasize about ways to just unplug from all of the pain. When everything feels broken, there’s a tendency to say - well let’s just throw it all away. What’s the point anyways? I don’t want to feel this way, I don’t want for my life to be this way - it’s almost like not being able to accept my life. That’s when I get to the place of fantasizing about drastic choices to just - run away, or throw it all away. It makes sense, ya know? If I can’t fix it, fuck it. Right? I think that’s one of the reasons why talking about it is so important is because people who aren’t us, in the middle of the struggle, can see from a perspective that can help us sort through some of these situations and thoughts, and it can bring deeper clarity, or illuminate a new path that we didn’t see…or at the very least, right, to just give us someone who understands, and cuts some of the pain out of the moment. I appreciate you reaching out and can relate myself too.