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Belongs to: Do you struggle to trust yourself?
So true, unfortunately had led to failed friendships and relationships I’ve tried to have. The broken trust had happened a few times to me so when I think it’s happening again I shut down and don’t even have a conversation with that person, I just cut them out of my life just because of those fucking intrusive thoughts from the past
It’s so hard to re-build a sense of trust with others when you’ve been so very deeply hurt. You have poured your heart into relationships that happened to be deceiving and led you to places you never asked for. How you react now - these thoughts, these fears, this urge to withdraw and retreat - makes completely sense. Somehow, when you’re on your own you are in control, and you’re making sure that others can’t get to you. But it also shuts the door to all the goodness that relationships can offer at the same time - your very first need of safety becomes a nemesis and a force that feels like working against you, something that emprisons your soul over time. Then you acknowledge why it’s there, where does this need come from, which loops back to the times you were hurt/betrayed… and it feels freaking unfair to have to be the one who is challenged by such thoughts in the present. To have to do the work of healing, progressing, moving forward and through the pain. It takes a lot of courage to be in a place of recognizing this inner conflict at play, and to understand the depths of it the way you do. Thank you for sharing, friend.
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