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“Super Straight” Scares me

If you don’t know there is this wave of people calling themselves super straight and super any other orientation. And it’s basically where you only date cisgendered people.

Problem is, it makes us feel like i am not everyone else, like I’m some outliar. I have a boyfriend and everything but it doesn’t stop the feeling really.

Like I’m fine with genital preference but the sheer amount of people choosing to be this and then above that the clear pluck out of trans people makes me feel like I shouldn’t even transition at all. Because I’m still not a dude either way, even if I get a flat chest, deep voice, and what’s down below I’m not someone they can date me. This entire thing revolves around “natural born” cis people and it just makes me look at myself and I just think:

“Am I not normal? Am I not natural?” What the hell am I?”

If I’m not natural born then what am I? Some freak of nature? I know I shouldn’t appeal to the cis but I have to say this hurts badly, it really does. Because I’m not “real” I’m nothing natural, I’m just some sort of amalgamation tranny who isn’t real. Existing.

Like this: https://itsthevioletqueen.tumblr.com/post/644956803543842816/4chan-is-at-it-fucking-again-tw-transphobia-and

Makes me think a lot about myself, from time to time I hate being trans because it’s so hard to get people to see me as I am. And seeing this makes me realize that’s never gonna happen, I’m never gonna be treated normal, natural, real, I’m just gonna be some faker, some “trender” some “tranny” just be a fucking pest. I just want it all gone. I don’t want to be here anymore.

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If I’m not natural born then what am I? Some freak of nature? I know I shouldn’t appeal to the cis but I have to say this hurts badly, it really does. Because I’m not “real” I’m nothing natural, I’m just some sort of amalgamation tranny who isn’t real. Existing.

Nature vs Culture is an old, old debate that always comes back whenever people disagree about a social movement, or a new law about social rights, or whatever. In my humble opinion, there are several problems when people favor biology as a justification to say what’s “natural” or not: 1/ They believe that what’s “natural” is easy to identify while it’s not; 2/ It’s often the product of a religious belief which precepts are not understood through the lens of our societies now; 3/ They voluntarily ignore all the things that belong to our culture, and a culture is constantly changing; 4/ They forget that “nature” is already a cultural concept/idea.

What does it even mean to be “natural”? We’re social animals. We use language, labels and words that are meaningful to us, depending on where we live. It’s not all about biology. It’s also about social context, culture, circumstantial meaning and understanding.

You don’t need to use those people’s perceptions and arguments against yourself, friend. They can be attracted to whoever they want, just like you have the right to be who you want to be.

You’re very real, alive, existing. And I understand that it’s important, as human beings, to find a way to name our own identity. But it starts deep inside with how we feel. And how you feel in your heart is not a lie. If some people reject that, it’s only because it doesn’t match with their own perceptions or beliefs, which doesn’t mean that you’d be wrong for being who you are. It’s not because people always had a hard time to understand each other that we have to stop being true to ourselves. That would be the most destructive and saddest conclusion.

You’re not a freak. You’re not a mistake. If those labels hurt right now, then maybe it would be good to step away from it a little, just to give your heart the time to feel a little better and focus on how you feel, first and foremost. The quest for our own identity can be really exhausting sometimes, especially when some things that are happening in our society make us feel rejected one way or another. Sadly, there will always be people who favor judgment and hatred, because it’s their way to defend what makes sense to them.

Silly example, but I was looking at birds yesterday during a walk and I thought that I didn’t know the name of one of them, which made me sad. I always wanted to learn all the scientific names so I could identify them. But then I thought: do I really need to know its name to actually enjoy its absolute beauty and uniqueness? Absolutely not. And actually, it adds a bit of poetic mystery to it.

Replacing judgment by curiosity is the most beautiful gift you can give to yourself. You don’t need to internalize those people’s perception. It doesn’t belong to you.

You’re beautiful as you are, friend. You belong here. I’m sending hugs your way. :hrtlegolove:

PS - 4chan is a tumultuous online place, especially when it’s about gender identity or equality between genders. I wouldn’t take what’s happening there as a reference. Of course, somehow it’s the reflection of what some people think nowadays, but 4chan is a particular environment, and I think it’s important not to forget that too.

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Thank you for that, its been a bit tough seeing that but all of my cishet friends have said they dont agree with that whatsoever so I feel much safer and have a space where I don’t have to worry about that stuff. Thank you though, and you are right, I shouldn’t look at myself and think about how I should appeal others and instead myself. :]

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You ARE a man. Your just stuck in a girl’s body. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

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I’m not much for labels Sky Trev, so I can’t be much help to you. I wish we (humans) didn’t use labels at all, for example “Am I not normal” , Normal??? I wish I knew someone who could tell me what normal is, or what not normal is, for that matter.
You’re who you are. Full Stop. You don’t need to be anything else! Be what you want to be, and love yourself for being your true self.
Sorry, it’s been a day for me, and I’m a bit out of sorts, and more than a little angry with people who tell other people who to be. You just love yourself… be you. Peace.

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I’m so tired of people feeling threatened by other people going off-label in anything. Your chosen labels or fluidity are no threat to my own. Be who you are. Anyone who has a problem with that is more concerned with your identity than their own, and isn’t that a sad thing?

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+1 to what SheetMetalHead said.

Something else I want to point to is that we often have this conflated view of our own spheres that we don’t realize that they’re such a small blip in the rest of the world.

I never heard about this whatsoever until I heard about it through someone else in HeartSupport. It might sound like this big thing, but honestly it’s not. It’s important to remember that the world is a huge and vast place, and even if something big is happening in your sphere, it’s just a tiny tiny blip compared to the rest of the “stuff” that makes up humanity.

In my sphere, a big thing happening right now is rising steel costs, and a shortage of contractor availability. It’s literally millions of USD of difference right now, and definitely impacting my job. However I bet it’s literally meaningless to you, because you’re not in that sphere :slight_smile:

I think this is one of those situations where it’s a small group of noisy people on the internet, who are spending their time TRYING to piss you off. I’ll bet that in a few months time, they’ll have moved on to the next thing, and this will be all but forgotten.

Everything I’ve seen about this has been in English, so lets consider the following:

Of the entire worlds population using the internet, only 6.8% of it is North American. If you want to group other commonly English speaking regions in there (Europe, Oceania/Australia) less than 22.2% of the worlds internet usage is by (assumed) English speaking regions. Now take that number, and think about of all the daily uses of the internet, how much of that is social media? How much of that is 4chan? How much of that is people who are spouting this stuff? I’d bet that’s an INCREDIBLY small number. Then take into account there are places in the world where internet isn’t readily available, or used widely!

Some other statistics I found, 4chan receives 20 million monthly visits. Even IF every single visit to 4chan was a new person each time, AND every new person who visited subscribed to this view, that would still ONLY be 6% of the US population. Imagine 6 people in a room saying this stuff, and the other 94 disagreeing, those 6 would be cast out pretty quickly! Then remember the US is just a fraction of the entire globe!

My message in all of this is not to worry :slight_smile: It sounds scary, because that’s what they’re trying to do. They’re sad people who get something out of aggravating others just trying to understand themselves, but they do NOT represent the majority in any way whatsoever.

The opinions of some people on 4chan probably do not reflect the opinions of 99.999% of people you’ll meet in your life, and at the end of the day, I doubt someone on 4chan has a larger impact in your life than those you meet daily.

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@nzkiwi442
@SheetMetalHead
@Micro
@gnuone
@Scarlette_Elle

Thank you all for the kind words, its been a bit rough since just recently my private location was nearly leaked due to this group and it makes me so happy and safer seeing your comments, it makes me realize all these people doing this I’m probably never gonna meet at all, and I am so glad for that, I am thankful for you all helping me realize this. Thank you guys :>

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Hey there @Sky-Trev! I hope I’m not too late to this conversation but I completely understand where you’re coming from because I’m FtM trans too. I know these people are kind of scary to think about but what’s been helping me is just trying to remember that these people are only on the internet. Most people you’ll come across in the “real world” won’t use or even know what “super straight” is. Remember that fear is mostly about how you see things or where you see them. You might see a lot of people on the internet using “super straight” seriously but they’re only a small percent of the people you’ll ever come across. Being trans is never going to be easy, I know, it sucks a lot. I know it’s hard to want to be alive and live through this internal hell but it’ll be worth it at the end of the journey too see who’ve you become. Stay strong my friend, you mean the world to me.

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Update: a good aquaintance of mine “came out” as this and started using slurs on me and saying he isn’t fooled by my delusions… Its shocking because they were a huge ally before and donated and helped the aid to stop suicide among trans youth…Now this happened, I really hope their account was hacked but even then I recognize their typing and wording…just with alot more slurs and transphobic wording…

They kept telling me:
“Even if you transitioned I won’t be fooled by your neo-scarred-looking-ass-dick”
“Tranny”
“Stop being superphobic, this is who I am”

It really hurts, especially when I trusted them and were a good ally…

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God I hate people…

I’m sorry to hear about your friend, but if they say these things to you, they probably were never really a good friend of yours because either they hid their feelings from you, in which case they were lying, or they are saying these things to fit in which is even worse. Disregard this person, they are not worth your time.

As far as Super Straight goes, I did read about this and it came from 4Chan which should be enough to just shrug it off. 4Chan is really good at stirring the pot in general and they seem to thrive on chaos.

But onto the real issue here - Super Straight.

Here are my 2 cents.

The philosophy of genital preference is nothing new. We all know that people generally have a genital preference when they date, and the majority of the population is cisgender and straight, so it can realistically be assumed that they prefer the genitalia of the opposite sex.

All Super Straight is doing is shining a spotlight on this in order to ruffle some feathers. Nothing has changed - people still like what they like and it would be a little foolish to assume that that affinity can be changed (I see this as being similar to sexual orientation, you can’t help what you like and don’t like and so that in itself shouldn’t be a reason to feel any sort of way, negative or positive.). If they don’t like the idea of a transitioned penis or vagina, then so be it, they don’t have to.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand why this upsets you. I also know the kinds of things that happen on 4chan, as well as their reputation for doing stuff like this and I just refuse to get worked up over it. They are trying to scare you. They are trying to anger you. Only you can allow this to happen. Does it suck that not everyone in the world will date you? Sure, I suppose. But that would’ve been the case before and after Super Straight. Now it just has a fad, niche name to pin onto it for a few days.

I highly doubt this will continue very long, it never does with 4chan.

Yea, people suck, especially bored people who have nothing better to do than sit at their computer and antagonize. But yea. This has always been a thing and we all know it, we all have preferences and its no better or worse than having a sexual preference such as homosexuality.

When I was first learning to tackle my anxiety, one of the best things I could have learned was to pick your battles. This battle is not worth my time and energy because 1) there’s literally nothing you can do about it, 2) genital preference has always been a thing, its just being called out now, 3) because this is likely a fad which will die soon like just about everything else on the internet and 4) its 4chan.

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I’m so sorry @Sky-Trev. That’s… frustrating… just to put it nicely.

I personally believe this kind of movement is the reflection of nauseous ideas running in our societies. It may happen online, but it’s still the reflection of some people’s ideas that stick with them once they’re not behind their digital screen. Still real people, real life, real ideas, just like the conversations we can have right here or anywhere else online. It’s far from being the first movement that develops online then has an impact on people’s life “irl”, politics and so on, and far from being the last one. The gamergate was another awesome desmonstration at the time.

It’s important to keep in mind that this is based on ignorance though, and a refusal to learn, to discuss or understand someone else’s perspective. It’s based on the denial of others right and humanity. They’re not here to debate. They’re just here to spread their own ideas without any contradiction, and it’s so easy to do it once you get a phone or a computer. You don’t even have to think to do that - which is more convenient for that kind of movement, otherwise they’d collapse easily. I’m personally always open to debate, but what truly infuriates me is to keep seeing those strategies based on harrasment and/or “”“humor”"" just to distill ideas made of hate.

You are NOT what this person told you, whether this account was hacked or not. Those words are the reflection of someone’s ignorance and fears. They are words without substance. So I’d like to encourage you to not give power to them, at least not more than necessary.

This hurt that you feel right now, this is going to be you fuel for refusing to be anyone else but you. It will be your strength in the long run. That’s something that this person, nor those who dare to insult people based on their gender or sexual identity, don’t seem to understand, and it’s their loss truly.

You are beautiful as you are.
You are enough as you are.
You are strong.
No one has the right to make you doubt about your own worth and beauty.
Be yourself, always.

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