I love how you touched on there needing to be a sense of safety to even explore things. I once had to switch psychiatrists with no warning, I had never spoke to him before this phone call, and he was SO RUDE & just barreling through things. He then started literally GRILLING me about my trauma and straight up berating me to answer questions & tell him about a childhood SA, that I had never even directly discussed with my therapist, or hardly anyone before! I was literally just crying and confused, and he was soo just outright mean, to the point I hung up on him. Never been back to therapy since. 
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This reminds me of all.my.therapy sessions. I was always on a clock to describe everything that I couldn’t even understand myself
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I wish I could find a therapist half as understanding as you. I’ve been diagnosed with severe recurrent depression and panic disorder for 24 years now and I’ve had:
- the one who told me I was “a hot mess”
- the one who told me that when I felt like no one loved me or wanted to be around me I was probably “very insightful” because “people who are depressed are exhausting”
- the one who convinced me I’d been molested as a child, distancing me from my parents right when I needed them when my Crohn’s disease was at its worst
- the one who seemed great for three years and then ghosted me when I was suicidal (she’s fine, I checked, my first thought was oh no something happened to her but she still updates her facebook page)
My current psychiatrist is pushing therapy but I think I’m understandably hesitant to start over, because sometimes you don’t know you’re being hurt instead of helped until you’re years down the road. #3? I thought he was amazing until one day I woke up and realized he’d spent close to 5 years slowly filling my mind with lies. I even told him when he started bringing abuse and hypnotherapy up that I have very vivid childhood memories and knew there was nothing there to uncover, but that I did know a lot about false memories and that I tick all the boxes for high susceptibility to them, and I said I would find another therapist if he didn’t stop talking about it. He agreed – but there are large swathes of our sessions after that that I can’t remember. I’d always thought hypnosis was bs but I’m honestly not sure anymore. And precisely how am I to trust another therapist, or trust myself to know the integrity of a therapist, after that?
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“How does that make you feel” it hurt me when you said that
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seriously where did that vibrato come from
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did anybody notice that she sings really good
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You should check out Popular Monster by Falling In Reverse. I cannot suggest it enough. Please check them out
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As much as I love the NHS I’ve had bad experiences. I’ve given up. Not their fault, lack of funding is a massive issue. Meanwhile, we sufffer.
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This is the problem with the trend over the past 20yrs to “psychologise” every medical issue. Not everything is psycho-somatic & a medical explanation can often be the answer people are so desperately seeking. My own personal most hated question is “how does that make you feel”. Like Ren I’ve battled auto immune disorder for over 25yrs. Most of those yrs getting sent only to psychologists. Patients can indeed be physically broken & legitimately need a physical medical solution. I totally agree with u btw about the”psychologist” personas demeanour in the video & I’m not trying to rag on therapists, I was once a psychologist; I had to retire in my early 30’s because I got too sick to work tho after having been denied a medical diagnosis/treament. Now all I’m left with is treating the symptoms cause the cause is a lost battle. I think you’ll enjoy reacting to his recent song Troubles, but I urge you to watch the autobiographical chapters that he narrated the week before he released it 1st. Best wishes & really enjoy your reactions. x
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Agree 
re: Sick vs. Hurt!
Mental illness is a misnomer technically
Mental well-being is the appropriate moniker, imho 
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Okay, but he was sick and broken. I think you’re missing the point.
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I’ve only just stumbled across your videos and Ren today, but I presume this song came about, and is set, earlier than “Hi Ren”. The issues he correctly identifies here, that we (humans) are given everything we need, but we commoditize it, engage in consumerism, ignoring warnings from science that it’s suicide, that things are getting dire, etc are entirely real. Recognizing them and being demoralized by them is not unreasonable. Therapy might help with coping with things like that, but I have personally found philosophy more comforting. And I do believe that he is getting there with the insights in “Hi Ren.” He’s right we’re given everything we need. As a human, you have to do some things. You have to get enough water to drink, and food to eat each day, and you need shelter from the elements as well as some social interaction. And… that’s it. Everything else is just gravy. None of the things beyond that, like being productive, gaining wealth and possessions and whatever else is required, they’re all optional. Even recognizing this, the consumerist capitalist hellscape can get a bit overwhelming, but for that you need another realization: You can only control your own actions. You’re responsible for your own actions, even if someone else is literally pointing a gun to your head, but you also have total control over them, and zero control over the actions of any other person. If you DID have the ability to control what other people did, it would hurt you to use it. Autonomy is not just some nice perk of being a conscious being, it is a fundamental organ of being. Control is poison, and it damages both the person being controlled and the person exerting the control. This is why there are no peaceful totalitarian police states. It’s why prison guards have the highest suicide rates of any profession. It’s why high schools get more dangerous, not less, the more locked down and ‘secure’ they are. So anyway, yes, you do not want to be able to control other people. It would destroy them and it would destroy you. You do have to deal with the consequences of the choices of others, but that is just part of the deal. If they spread misery, it is regrettable, but you can choose not to play a part in it by being mindful of your own actions and their consequences. That is not only the best you can do, it is the best ANYONE can do. There is no better path.
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Ren is a real artist…
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Reaching out for help is difficult to say the least and as a man much of society will even look down on them as if they are weak. My own experiences have not helped rather quit the opposite; feeling less than, beyond repair and worthless. My kids joke I’m too crazy to be fixed because I have had two different therapist stop seeing me both within the first couple of visits. I have tried and calling to others about it to have them act as if it an inconvenience to them. I push it deeper and deeper until it chokes me.
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I have searched for a therapist to speak with but I have to get an answer to just one question that proves to me they have the skills and techniques to help me. The question is if you had no. Money or funds of any kind in the bank or stocks, if you had no one to call on for financial support or help. Would you still have gone into the mental health industry. I find it disgusting and opposite of what I believe life should be when ever decision we make is income or value driven. It’s not what the real world is about. We are living in a naked up make belief manner that doesn’t mean a damn thing. Our political and governmental beliefs are just as screwed up. If I go kill someone im a bad person and will go to prison for it. If I join a branch of the military and go kill many people I get awards and metals and celebrated. Yet both are me killing someone. So where is the morality in that. People keep using the word “woke” yet I have yet to see a tone who is truly awake. I’m too chicken shit to end things myself, but I can say without question I can’t wait for the moment I don’t have to be around anymore. I am disappointed and heartbroken more and more everyday by what I see and hear. Ren is 1/2 way there and that’s why I love and respect him as much as I do. Sadly he still accepts the boundaries others have put up to make themselves better off and that’s sad. I hope he gets to the point where he can flip off the powers that be and break the binds that tie because with a voice as way of expressing the truth maybe finally humans will wake the hell up and change the way we think so we can finally change behaviors. Change the areas that we value to what is important will be hard but it’s what we need to do. Even tho he is an artist it’s mind blowing to me that before teachers, medical staff, safety fire and rescue workers are rich we allow part time seasonal entertainers to become millionaires. Why should a sports player or singer or actor who we watch or listen to but have close to no true effect on our lives become billionaires? A police officer who is in the job for the right reasons not just a power trip has the ability to save my life more than Michael Jordan all day everyday. A nurse or doctor will be willing to help me in a time if need way more than Brad Pitt ever will. A teacher will give me the skills and methods of information gathering and retention more than sadly Ren would 5 days a week 9 months out of the year. Yet when governmental budget cuts happen education safety and healthcare are the first areas that get cut. The parts we rely on and need totally funded and even overly so.
Everyone will know deep down I’m right but who is going to join together to make the changes? Who’s solid enough in their values to reject and turn down corruption? Who will turn away from million dollar bribe from those that pull the governmental strings? Our lives were hijacked the first time one person called another king. It’s been manipulation and repression ever since.
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What are your thoughts on therapist who refuse to treat unmedicated patients 
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Took a lot of years of therapy for me. My song back then was Monster by skillet. I saw me as the monster. Later got diagnosed with BPD and depression. After years of therapy and first feeling like the diagnosis, not able to see me as the person, which was not helpful at all, and nearing the end, nearly forgetting that I am diagnosed. My first diagnosis is now 8 nearly 9 years from now. I go to work, I have friends, which I never thought I could have, because who could like me, the monster. I dont hurt myself anymore, at least physically, maybe sometimes with decisions, but for most parts I see that I would do it to hurt me and can change the decision. My first rule, no important decission needs to be made in under a week. I love how I live, I still isolate a lot because I cant deal with a lot of other people, it makes me overthink if I behaved ok, or if I hurt anyone. But my friends make me go out more, and I really feel safe with them. Its slow steps, it is a lot of steps. I still need medication, but not a lot and am starting to go to no medication. I need a lot of times at the doctor for checkups every three month, for bloodwork. But thats nearly all of medical visits I need. I see a big change from where I was 18, it was a long way, but I made it to here. And I really think I can go further to maybe someday having nearly no symptoms. I still listen to the songs, they let me see my way that have gone. It makes me see progress. Now I mostly forget I have BPD
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@HeartSupport
Where do I find a therapist like you? What do I look for when finding one? Or what should I look to avoid?
Edit: additional to this, what can someone do in the first 1 or 2 sessions to really open up or speed the process up if that makes sense? What does a therapist look for to get a deeper understanding I guess?
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“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”
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Hurt people need healing not fixing. Also, Ren had Lyme disease so that contributed to psychosis.
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