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Belongs to: https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/36742
those are the worst! for me, raised in a controlling household makes it so that we keep super high standards and people please more than most. it’s a shit cycle to break!
thanks for sharing and being vulnerable, more awareness means less suffering! #seekyourneed
Yes, because you hold the high standard for yourself now, and when you fail, it means you should have tried harder. So you try harder, but the standards always raise, even when you hit them. It’s like you never heard “good job”, you only heard “do more”. So there’s never a point of being ENOUGH. It is like living in one long story of disappointment.
It is really a shit cycle to break. I wholeheartedly agree with you. I was raised in a household where I had no choice to survive but to do my best, be my best and be a people pleaser. Learned that this was the only way to be seen without being hurt. That it was the only way to be worthy in the eyes of people I cherished. Too often, life has repeated this story by making me end up alone if I wasn’t trying to be of any use to others. It’s so hard to unlearn this pattern and start to just BE. Without having to worry about how others feel, what others think. Without having to feel as if our personal needs were a curse and something to not even look at. I’m standing right next with you on this journey, and my heart goes out to you. You in yourself are so much more than all the “should” in your mind – whether they’re explicitly conscious or not. There is life in you that deserves to be unfolded. A bright soul that needs to be nurtured, cherished, celebrated – not because of what it does, but because it is. Such a hard concept to wrap our minds around, right? Unconditional worthiness. I believe you and I will get there, because there’s a deep energy inside to not let the old patterns win, to seek LIFE through the eyes of curiosity, wonder, joy. This craving for life, this call right from within your heart, is YOU. <3
@heartsupportwall4 that’s SOOO true! then add in the fact that we can shift our perception and change those standards but man, it takes moving a fuckijg mountain at a snails pace going against hurricane strength tsunami winds some days
we are the worst to ourselves in the long run, whether or not we get hurt is on us and what value you place in that person. no kid could truly see that for what it is, we all want to see the best in the people we love.
the longer we wait to make the change or do the thing, etc, the worse it makes it for us, not nearly as much for the other person. i found i was like living other peoples lives out and it had nothing to do with me or my life and brought nothing good to me so i try to stop that as soon as i notice.
you deserve love, kindness and to be strong for you. the hard truth is that we have the tools to better ourselves but our brains have either been stunted or we’ve never been able to blossom or thrive to see how truly big the world is. and that we do not need to fit a mold. we are able to do whatever we want, you want it bad enough, nothing will stop you. it may take some strategic planning and longer goals but you’ll get there. nobody can stop you once you find and connect with your inner dialogue and stop to listen.
thanks for sharing and letting me journal on your page
look forward to meeting y’all next year!
@heartsupportwall4 relentless is an understatement for our kind eh? stay strong and keep the course. the undertow somehow always knows. (sub/unconscious, inner child, soul, etc)
have some ideas to help collab on getting message out for next fest, joined the mailing list and will do what i can from good ole Richmond, VA!
thanks for being you!
Thanks a lot for the kind words and sending some encouragement back. It means a lot knowing we’re not alone on this road, doesn’t it?
These ideas sound very exciting! If you ever need a contact point to discuss these, feel always free to reach out through the info@heartsupport email of the organization. Ideas and suggestions are always welcome. <3