Trans girl who'd be better off dead

i thought coming out as pan-sexual and transgender(male to female) would be the hardest thing i’d ever have to do

i thought that people would just let me be, accept me for me

i was wrong, i was so wrong

everything i do seems to make people want to hurt me, physically and mentally

all i want to do is live life as the girl i was always meant to be, to go out in public wearing leggings and a nice top, to wear heels and a nice dress to the club, to wear makeup and carry a nice bag

but no matter what i do there is always someone calling me names, shouting at me in the pub, or someone closer to me deciding to out me because they think its funny

all of this has led to panic attacks, social anxiety, self harm and a suicide attempt

tonight i decided to wear a mini skirt, fishnets and heels with my ‘still here still fighting’ suicide survivor t-shirt, my friends thought i looked cute, i thought i looked cute

but a group of guys in the club thought otherwise, they cornered me in the smocking area and shouted some really hurtful things at me, told me to kill myself because i ‘clearly didn’t do a good enough job the first time’

a couple of my friends stepped in and the bouncers got involved, we left shortly after

but this kind of thing happens so often, i feel like im letting my friends down, like im ruining their lives when i breakdown in the street, when we have to leave because of people harassing me

i feel like they won’t miss me if i was gone, they could live their lives without all the trouble that i seem to attract

im tired of being unable to live my life how i want, to wear what i want wherever i want

im tired of life


Please stay strong. You are a million percent valid as who you are. You’re a strong woman and I know you can survive. People are cruel and don’t understand, but please don’t let them hurt you. You don’t deserve it. You will survive, and you always have us here to love and support you.

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i just don’t feel like i have the strength to survive anymore, im always so emotionally drained all the time, i end up pushing my friends away when i need them the most, i feel so helpless

You have to just be you nomatter what. Though other people may lash out and hurt from it, thats their problem dont make it yours. Its your life live it make you happy people will come around if their worthy of having you as family or a friend, your probably the most loyal and true in your groupbdont change that. Yoir awesome for being you and being true to your feelings and what you believe. Dont change that or hate it, its what makes you and the world special today.

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You can do it. I believe in you.

I am so sorry this has been happening to you and people will accept you . You were not wrong . What matters is you are you . Who cares about a damn opinion . If you want to wear heals , fricken go ahead . If you want to wear a crop top go-ahead. No one can stop a transgender person from doing what they want so you could be comfortable . If people aren’t happy with who you are , let them know what makes you happy. I am sorry you are feeling like you are getting hurt mentally and physically. Be yourself ! Just know you are loved and worth every penny . Hold fast and remember you’re worth it .

stay strong man, i understand how hard it all is with things like dysphoria + a shitty response to coming out. you’re really valid, you can make it through this.

The way you decide to live your life isn’t harming anyone. You don’t deserve the harrassment you’ve received. I know all too well about the feeling of hopelessness and being convinced that the people close to you would be better off if you were dead. That is NOT true. No matter how alone or hopeless you feel there are always people who care about you, even if it doesn’t seem like it. Stay strong.

Hey friend,

I’m so so sorry that you have to go through this. I know it doesn’t mean much as I’m just a person online but I support and accept you and I just wanted you to know that.
You are beautiful inside and out and I’m so so proud of you for coming out that takes so much strength and courage!

Those people in that bar are arseholes (I couldn’t think of a better word but I feel it’s suited). You do NOT deserve anything they have put you through, you are worth everything and maybe it doesn’t feel like it right now but you are loved by so many people.

One of my favourite saying is we need the dark to see the stars. This means that yes it’s shit right now but it will show you how to be stronger, and give you a chance to grow. Those stars shine brighter the darker the night is. You can flourish from this.

I believe in you. I love you. I support you.

Hold fast friend,
Love Luna :heart:


Thank you all so much for the kindness and support, it means so much to me knowing that there are people outside of my small circle of friends that think i do belong in this world! i may never have met any of you but that makes it mean so much more, knowing that you took the time to help someone you’d never met how to look through the darkness to see the wonderful stars beyond it!

I honestly can’t thank you all enough and i’ll always hold what you’ve said close to my heart :purple_heart::rainbow_flag:

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Hi friend :heart:
As a trans guy who has experienced some non-acceptance, I know it is a HUGE thing to deal with and I am so, so proud of you, all of us here at HS are. Who gives a shit if someone feels negatively about who you are? Surround yourself with positive friends and I promise that you are beautiful and strong and amazing in every single little way. It is really good that you have friends who are helping to keep you safe, I wish I could say the same for myself. Self harm is a huge HUGE obstacle and I know it’s hard to beat - an app I was made aware of recently was called Calm Harm and its free on the Apple app store and Google Play store. Not everything works for everyone but it’s a good thing to try. And if it feels like nobody else cares, we do. We love you :heart:
Best wishes


I am so, so proud of you for having the courage to be yourself. You deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion, and I’m horribly sorry that you aren’t. I assure you, you’re not letting your friends down. You’re allowed to have breakdowns, you’re a human being and there’s nothing wrong with not being okay. It’s not your fault that people are harassing you; that’s entirely reflective of them, not you.
I’m trans, too, and I know it seems like you won’t ever be able to live how you’d like but I promise you will. You’re doing so well and I’m so proud of you for surviving; as long as you keep living, you get closer and closer to living how you want.
What I’ve found to help with hopelessness, which I hope can help you as well, is having trans friends who are further in their transition than I am. It may make it easier for you to view transitioning as obtainable if you have people close to you who’ve obtained it.
You’re so fucking strong, and I’m so proud of you. You’re a wonderful girl and I’m glad you’re alive. I truly believe that one day you’ll be genuinely happy; you deserve it.

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